Last week, I had my biggest cake order so far. I was asked to make a dragon boat themed cake for my dragon boat team’s fundraiser/kickoff party (our first race is this coming Saturday!)/team captain’s birthday party. The fundraiser was held on a yacht that sailed around the Toronto harbour, so it was a night filled with a breathtaking view of the Toronto skyline, many uncorked bottles of wine, and wildly entertaining people.
I can’t quite recall who suggested that I do a blog post to illustrate the process of making a fondant cake, but I thought it was an excellent idea, so this post is for you, whoever you are! For this cake, the process started about a week before the day the cake was actually needed.
Here we go!
Procure the necessary obscure supplies, e.g. edible luster dust, from craft stores like Michael’s.
Optional: Get friend to accompany you.
Extremely optional: Have your van start to break down on the 404.
Extremely, extremely optional: Decide to try to make it to the parking lot of Michael’s anyway because maaaybe you can.
Totally not recommended: Make it safely to the parking lot of Michael’s and decide that you’re too far back in the parking spot, move forward an inch, and then have what sounds like your engine falling out of your van, causing supportive friend to scream and duck in terror.
Not recommended for supportive friend: Pick up metal balls that are under the front of the van after asking “What are these?” only to exclaim “I have motor oil on my hands!”
Recommended for the safety of everyone on the road: Have van towed and fixed immediately.
(Why yes, my van was in the movie Inception.)
Okay, that’s probably good.
Send your sisters out to get you a frap from Starbucks because you deserve it. Have them get into a fight at H&M and forget to go to Starbucks, thus returning home emptyhanded.
Sorry, I have no image for this.
For the record, this is what I wanted.
Finish shaping the dragon head and cover in fondant. Ask your dad excitedly what he thinks of your progress. Have him open the fridge to look at the dragon head, burst out laughing, and ask why it looks like a dolphin.
Spend a ridiculous amount of time kneading fondant to tint it yellow and red. Add it to the dragon/dolphin head. Ask your sister excitedly what she thinks of your progress (because your dad is no help). Have her look over from her laptop, burst out laughing, and ask why it looks like a duck.
Move out of childhood home because family is being unsupportive.
Take the chocolate cakes you baked what seems like ages ago and trim them into the shape of the boat. This is where it’s helpful to have frozen sheets of cake cause they trim much easier than cakes that have just been baked.
Have both your parents stand over you arguing about the right angle and technique as you trim the rice krispie treats to form the sides of the boat. Overnight, everybody’s become an expert on the art of crafting Rice Krispie treats.
Forget to take picture of final product because you should have started getting ready for the boat cruise half an hour ago.
Arrive downtown with plenty of time to spare and put cake away in the walk-in freezer of the yacht. Breathe sigh of relief. Board yacht with friends, take lots of pictures, and be entertained by the telling of a friend’s proposal story.
After dinner, add last minute touches to cake and somehow safely transport the thirty pound cake up steep stairs on a moving boat, i.e. find willing volunteers, who appear to have superb balance and coordination.
Sing happy birthday along with hundreds of other people on the boat to the birthday boy. Learn the hard way that people will retaliate when blue frosting is smeared on them……even if it is their birthday, and especially if if it’s not their birthday.